April 15, 2007
Committing the Crime of Free Speech Two men with foreign, suspicious-sounding names, Elahwal and Iqbal, were arrested for the capitalistic entrepreneurial crime of using satellite dishes to distribute Hezbollah television station broadcasts to their New York-area customers. Since the USSA government designated the station, al Manar, as a global terrorist entity, the two men face five-year prison terms for stupidly believing that freedom of speech exists in America. The thinking, apparently, is that anyone watching a terrorist TV station is guilty of aiding global terrorism. In related news, SWAT-clad FBI agents raided the HBO studios where the TV series "The Sopranos" is taped and roughed up everyone they could get their gunbutts on.
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