February 28, 2007
The War on Peanuts Many libertarian pundits claimed that the point of the story was that we should fear terrorists no more than we fear the lowly peanut. However, President Bush, who desperately needed to appear leaderly after the House and Senate were lost on his watch – just as he desperately needed to appear leaderly after the Twin Towers were lost on his watch – used the crisis to immediately declare a War on Peanuts and nominated recently ousted former Republican Congresscrat Ben D. Pheeted of South Virginia as his new Peanut Czar.
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